I'm a mess!

• "I wanna do bad things with you"


• tl;dr.

soo, i've sent her a text, 'cause i'm seriously and truly confused, and quite possibly screwed. She has surprised me few times lately and I'm hoping she will again this time. I don't like being screwed (or, do I?).
Gosh, and the best thing i could come up with was that text, really, what the fuck am i thinking? shy bastard. Ideally this would all be so easy and perfect, but that scenario requires somebody who is not me. Wait, did i say that was ideal? i didn't mean that i swear. obviously, ideally everything will be just fine....

soo who is she? it's taken me a while to come up with something somewhat adequate, but i'm starting to be able to paint a pretty good picture. A friend of mine told me yesterday, that i was obviously falling for her (oh if only she would fall, too^^), good lord i'm rambling
classy, elegant, exquisite. kinda far away, immaculate, pure. wait that's not really good is it? - hey there's more! ;-) see at the same time she manages to be very much soo.. enticing, alluring, let's just say hawt (oh and i mean hawt!). you know that classy hotness that makes you go: oh such an elegant, fragile creature, i really wanna to bad things with you? yeah well, i didn't know that before, either.
so much for looks. no i didn't mention that smile. it's cute. really cute. smirky. Anywho. The elegance theme goes on. She does behave very elegantly. (that a bit out of your reach kinda thing might just be what's causing my confusion, will think on that, later). And then again, she is ooooh so friggin' quirky. So adorable. And that contrast is absolutely brilliant.
i mentioned she surprises me right? (here's hoping) unpredictable. i'm not used to that. it's scary, and exhilarating. Also we can talk. and she doesn't get boring. i get bored really easily... her stories are good. she picked up on me using certain words rather frequently. How cool is that? yeah, she's smart, but that's a given right? and she laughs about a few things i say. also rather unusual.

sooo yeah, things would be pretty great, if only she had let me kiss her today :?: oO

well let's see. Oh and I am falling!

• Stephen Wolfram: Computing a theory of everything


• Backtracking

It's probably just my mind playing tricks on me. Curious thing that is. When you're absolutely convinced of something just for wanting to be convinced of it.
But lately I've keep getting surprised. Like really surprised. And over things that matter to me. Which really doesn't happen very often, seeing as I spend countless hours analyzing stuff important to me. Backtracking, i think that's what it's called. Trying to explore every possible outcome of actions i might take. Pros and cons of different ways to do stuff... you get the idea. That's what i do when facing somewhat difficult, erm things, and am about to go to sleep^^. So really, I don't get caught off guard easily.

Yet here I am being surprised yet again. By something so little, subtle, something just a tiny, curious bit different that all the things i had thought about. And like I said, that tiny difference is probably but a figment of my imagination. Nonetheless, to me it's real (oh, i want to go on about that, too). And it feels absolutely exhilarating.
Please don't stop! and to my mind: will ya please realize, the surprises have always been good? always! period. good god.

On a completely unrelated note: check out that talk by Mr Wolfram. Just need to combine that with Watson, cause, well, i think wolframalpha's language understanding is... lacking.

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our red square is back! it's clickable, you can't see that though.. and why the hell is there so much space up there?

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